She's sweet, but she's f*cked up- it goes there.

Last night I finally watched "Dodgeball" after days of recounting funny quotes in my head (and here). Have to say, not 1/2 as hilarious the second time around, but it still provided such gems as "It's like watching a bunch of retards try to f*ck a door knob" and "Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a 'Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony' card." Classic.

I've said this before, but this time I'm completely serious: I have absolutely nothing to do. So I turn to the blog, my friend, always there to listen, always willing to laugh at my bad jokes. Sure, it's comparable to sending out an email w/ no particular recipient...or praying...but I don't mind. Because I like the sound of my own voice.

Today, I'm going to just post/comment on anything I find that's even slightly interesting (instead, you should check out goldenfiddle...or if you're already here, might as well keep reading).

KD & Jake G getting married? I will riot in the streets if this happens. I will protest outside the chapel/producers mansion w/ signs declaring "Jake- don't do it- she's not cute" or "She doesn't love you like I do". Then what will happen (most likely) is he will see the signs, realize his mistake, and run into my open arms. Yep, just like that.

I'm more of a Nike fan myself... But I understand those moments when you just feel like urinating on athletic shoes. We've all been there.

Who would want to see this? Really? Ryan Cabrera can crawl back under the untalented/unattractive rock from which he came. And he can put his shirt back on- nobody wants to see that sh*t.

The reason why I'm still single. It has to be that damn fake engagement ring I fancy wearing out on the weekends. I guess from now on if I want to wear it, I'll have to combine it w/ my "Single and loving it" t-shirt.

Luke Wilson lowers his standards. Paris...really? Probably not, but just the idea makes my stomach turn and I lose all faith in the idea that not every male celebrity/actor/musician/douche bag wants to f*ck Paris Hilton. I guess people just love a sure thing....it just goes to prove my theory: guys love sluts.

Chapter 5: The day I was a lesbian. (from Ashlee Simpson's autobiography). Too bad papa Joe had to be the rain on her "edgy" parade....proving another one of my crazy theories: baptists hate homosexuals.

And I'm spent.
R.